sirwagsalot

I threw up real bad yesterday, and Alfa Female got me in to see da Duktor. Alfa Male came with.

Dey did all sorts of tests, and den the ducktor came back and said I had the bad crabby sick.

Alfa Female cried. Alfa Male tried to be stoick because he is silly and tinks dat boys don't cry. But he cried-I saw him.

Da duktor gave me a shot dat made me feel bedder and then we all went home, cuddled on da bed and went to sleep. I slept in da bed, but then I wasn't feeling too gud so I went on da floor. Da Alfas woke up and cuddled wif me on da floor.

Dey were sad. Alfa Male had wanted to take me for a long walkie, because I have not been having many long walkies. It has been too cold and dere is snow all over da place. And den he was going to split a stake wif me!

But I was hurting too much, so Alfa Female gave me some pills and I felt a little bedder. Den we got in da car. Alfa Female sat in da back wif me. I did not have to wear my seat belt-she just held me and put my blanket on me.

Wehn we got to the duktor's, Alfa Male carried me in and we sat on a couch in a room. Some people came and put something in my arm-dat was ouchy! Den Alfa Male read some words, and the doctor put a shot into the thing in my arm, but it was not ouchy. I felt sleepy. Alfa Female and Alfa Male hugged me, and Alfa Male whispered something in my ear, and I fell asleep.

I woke up in a bright and shiny light. Then the light turned into a rainbow, and I was on da Rainbow Bridge. The Earl of Smell and Miss Worried Dog were dere, and the Pirate Doggy and Lord Barks Indignantly, and the orange kitty and Ironpaw. Ironpaw was nice to me!

I do not hurt anymore, and I can run and play all I want and I don't need to worry about cars. There is lots of yummy fud.

And there is a couch with space for Alfa Female-and Alfa Male, if she wants him dere. I sit on that spot and wait for her. The Earl says it may be a long time for peepul, but it will be a short time to us, and then I will be reunited with Alfa Female. And that will be good, because she is da best.

The peepul took me on a trip to someplace far away. It is called Bean city, or someting like dat.

Da trip was not so fun. I was feeling sick and I puk-ed in da car. Alfa Male was not hoppy. Alfa Female felt sorry for me, and she made me feel bedder.

We stayed with dere friend Varlelis. She is nice-she likes doggies, and she petted me and said I was beautiful. I like her!

We also saw odder peepul. They said I was pretty. And handsome. And beautiful. And dey gave me pets and it was gud.

They had a dog, too. He was big and black and I tink he was da Big Dog!

He said strange things to me. Words like "szia" and scary phrases like "jó estét." I growled at him once, but the Alfas told me no and I stopped. I tink I made him mad, becuz when I got home it snowed furever.

Dere was so much snow dat I could not go outside to poop until Alfa Male and Alfa Female went out and dug some of da snow out of the da way. Now I have a path that I can pee on and a big space to poo in. When I go outside, Alfa Male sings "Follow Da Yellow Snow Road" in a weird voice.

I had a nice trip, but I am still feeling a bit sic. Alfa Female says I have to go to da duktor. But I went dere at da beginning of da month! Dis sucks.

Science peepul like to work with doggies. Dey do not do anything without a lab.

I tink da science peepul are working to figure out why I am so grate. It has something to do with blue jeans. At least I tink dey are blue-dey Alfas have jeans, and dey are blue, so my jeans must be blue, too. I can wear dem with one of my swedders when the science peepul find dem.

And when da science peepul are finished, dey will find that Vizslas are souperior to all other doggies. and den Alfa Male will have to cook me a steak every night.

It is da time of the da year when my peepul celebrate Lickmas.

Dat means dey wil put up a tree in da front room.

Da tree is very nice. Especially when it is 2 in da morning and Alfa Male doesn't want to get up to let me out.

O Lickmas Tree, O Lickmas Tree,
I really have to pee
Just stand there, in ornamented awe
while I lift my paw
O Lickmas Tree, O Lickmas Tree
tanks for being dere when I need to pee.

Dat's what I will do, I tink. Unless Alfa Male changes his mind and let's me out.

I saw da bunny tonight! But I killed him a while back, so dat means...he is a zombunny!

No, Alfa Male, I am not bringing you sticks because I want to play. I want you to take da wood and board up da windows so da zombunny does break in. Because if he does that he will want to eat all my fud!

Be vigil ants, peepul! Beware da zombunny!

( may be too grross for some peepul )

A few nights ago, I came into da house from my evening walkie, and Alfa Female noticed I was really happy. She asked Alfa Male why I looked so hoppy.

I said I could tell her why I was so hoppy, so I sung a song!

I squished da Bunny
Now please give me a doggy treat! oh!
I squished da Bunny
Now please give me a doggy treat! oh!
Yeah! all around in my home town,
He was hopping around;
Alfa Male said he'd bring me in
For a yummy doggy treat,
For the munch of a doggie treat.
And I say:

Oh, now, now. oh!
I squished da Bunny - da Bunny.
(I swear it was by da wrought-iron fence.)
Ooh, ooh, oo-oh yeah!
I say: I squished da Bunny - da Bunny.
(I swear it was by da wrought-iron fence.)
Yeah! (ooh, ooh, oo-oh) yeah!

I always hated dat Bunny,
For what, I dont know:
Every time Alfa Female plant a seed,
He ate it before it grow -
He ate dem before they grow.
And so:

Read it in the news:
I squished da Bunny - da Bunny.
(I swear it was by da wrought-iron fence.)
Where is my doggy treat? (oo-oo-oh)
I squished da Bunny - da Bunny.
(I swear it was by da wrought-iron fence.)

Walkies came my way
And I started on my rounds, yeah!
All of a sudden I saw da Bunny brown
Aiming to hop around down,
So I jumped - I jumped - I squished him down and I say:
I am glad da Bunny is gone away.

I squished da Bunny
But I still don't see my doggy treat,
I want my doggy treat (oh, no-oh), oh no!
I squished da Bunny. I did!
But I still don't have a doggy treat. oh! (oo-oo-ooh)

Reflexes had got the better of da Bunny
And what is to be must be:
Every day the bucket a-go a well,
One day the bottom a-go drop out,
One day the bottom a-go drop out.
I say:

I - I - I - I squished the Bunny.
Lord, give me my doggy treat. Yeah!
I - I squished da Bunny
Because I am a good doggie! Yeah! Yeah!

I was so proud of squishing da Bunny, and so proud of my song. But den Alfa Male reminded me dat Alfa Female can't hear, so I had to write dis down for her.

I squished da Bunny!

I am not totally shur on the date, but I will be seven years old on my birfday!

People see me on the street, and ask how old I am, and da Alfas tell dem that I am seven, and dey say "he looks so young!"

I have some white fur on my chin, but I am looking pretty good. I saw a better looking dog than me once, and I barked at him-but then I realized I was looking into a meeror.

For my birfday, I got lots of good fud. I am hoppy.

Alfa Female made Sweetish meatballs de udder day, and she put some of the Sweetish meatball sauce on my fud.

Oh, it was good! It made me want to move to Sweeten. Even if I would have to start saying "bjårk" instead of "bark," it would be worth it if dey put that sauce on my fud.

But I would not want to have to move to Iceyland. I would have to say "bjærk", and dere is no sauce. Just bits of shark dat tastes like da mop. Dat would not be good.

Alfa Male took me for a walk last night. We got to my favorite place to poop-da park.

There was a horrible creature in the park. It has a cottony tail, and it hops.

A bunknee was in my park. I pointed and Alfa Male ran with me to where da bunny was. Da bunny hopped away. But not far away-he went about 10 feet away and was very still.

I barked and pulled on my leesh, and Alfa Male went with me again. Da bunny hopped away about 10 feet.

It was like he wasn't dat scared of me! I chased him out of my park. Next time I will catch him and make him into fud.

Maybe he is da Eatster Bunny. Eatster is done, though, so if I catch him he won't have all sorts of treets. But maybe he will have ham. If he gives me da ham I will let him off with a warning.